ORZOLA : LEARN HOW TO JOURNAL


What is the worst that can happen?

Post written by Orsolya Hernold

I got my first glasses when I was 13, after ten years I changed to contact lenses. Altogether I had some sort of eye-aid for 20 years. I was ever dissatisfied with this state, I could not accept my disability, my dependence on an “equipment”, I longed for clear sight. I tried eye exercises, there was some improvement, but it was not enough for me. So I decided to have a surgery a couple of years ago. I went to the clinic beforehand and got very detailed information about the procedure, the risks, I was quite satisfied with my decision.

Then, a friend posed me the question: what if I lose my sight due to a medical malpractice? Full stop. Pause. Ahh, well, yeah, what? In my optimism, that was not a possible outcome I would consider. I have a family and my plans for my future definitely involved me seeing things. But what if? What if the worst happens? I posed this question, played along, and let my fears and worries arise – for me to watch them and find my way of handling them. Writing, as always, helped.

In the end, I got to like this question because it helps fears and worries bubble up to the surface – this way they are not hindering my actions from behind: silencing me in a situation where I rather speak up, preventing me from taking a decision that serves my wellbeing or pushing me to be the horrid worry-driven mom. I tackle my fears of failure with the same approach. Fears and worries are out on the table on my sheet of paper or my screen – and I can at least consider them, maybe even discard them, let alone outwit them.

I am sure you have issues in your life – small or huge – where this question can be applied. Choose one and ask:

 

The surgery and the recovery all went well, and I got rid of my glasses – hopefully for a long time. On my list of what I am grateful for, my clear sight makes the top 5. I chose the operation not letting myself be paralyzed by my fear of a life without sight. The fear was still present – but I had my answers for it.

 



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