My attitude to a different opinion

Post written by Orsolya Hernold

A huge chunk of my self-esteem consists of my image of being a good mom to my children. I’m very much present in their life, take care of their well-being, support their interests, provide an emotionally and physically cozy home for them, and the list could go on. So how do I deal with the opinion of a psychiatrist who tells me I’m doing something wrong? My reaction to an opposing, different opinion has been ranging from total denial and anger (pride playing its role here) to deliberately continue doing my way (my good old friend, the rebel, having the final say). What would be the best reaction now? I decided I need to reexamine my usual behavior and disregard pride and rebelling for now.

First of all, in this case, I must admit, that there is some ground to what the psychiatrist is saying. My self-image is still shaken and recovering, so far I was convinced I do only what is best for my children, and still, there is some truth in her words. How can I integrate her opinion into my conduct with my daughter without losing my integrity and my face in front of myself? And as my daughter is extra sensitive, maybe I’m doing more harm to her if I’m shaky or not authentic with her. Well, I don’t know, I’m still in the process of finding my own answer somewhere between the two different opinions.

Now recall a time when you got an opposing, different opinion. It isn’t about a minor issue, but a situation where you thought you are unshaken, confident or successful. Maybe this different opinion was not right, as later it turns out – it does not matter. Just examine its effect on you.


I learned that there is no ‘ideal mom called Orsi’ living with me. The part of me that is a mother can be uncertain and weak and my children still love and accept her as she is.


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