ORZOLA : LEARN HOW TO JOURNAL


Where is dependence present in my life?

Post written by Orsolya Hernold

When I was living in the United States, I got dependent on coffee. I drank it every morning, everyone around me was doing the same thing and I did not think about it much. When I returned home, I realized that my body developed a dependence on coffee – if I did not drink it, I got a heavy headache. I cured myself with sleeping for two weeks, which also helped my jetlag and cultural shock of returning to my home country. I made a vow then not to be dependent on anything anymore. And so far so good I did think: I tried drugs and smoking, but was very far from dependence, for a long time I ate every day chocolate then my year without it was easier than expected.

Alcohol, drugs, smoking, food – things we usually associate with dependence. But there are more subtle ways of being dependent, and I needed to look closer to find it in my life. Additionally, I made a little experiment in the last two weeks that I would like to share with you. First, I love my morning green tea, and my day is definitely different (my digestion, my mood and my concentration) if I start without it. Then I check Facebook at least once a day and miss it if I do not have the chance to. Eating fruits and exercising also became my daily habits and my body depends on them. I am very much influenced by the opinion of people that I love and trust – I long for their feedback and do not think I could be well without them. I do not have an income now, so financially I am dependent on my partner. I know this feeling already, when I was at home with our children I learnt to deal with it. As you can see, the list is long and there are certainly other areas of my life in which I have not yet discovered dependence yet.

My experiment was to play a game on my computer to the verge of addiction, an activity I was never really interested in. But I wanted to try how it feels like, especially since my son is so fond of them, I wanted to experience what he does. What have I found? Games are beautifully designed to create addiction.

What were my (unexpected) rewards?

I invite you to discover dependence(s) in your life:

 

I learned in the last two weeks through my focus on dependence that it is very much present in my life. It can disguise itself in the form of a habit, a need or entertainment. And it is okay to have addictions until I know of them and have the will to stop if I want to. Please keep your fingers crossed for me, I am determined to get back my time and attention from playing this game.

Update: After a day break I got back to playing. Then my computer decided to lend me a hand, and would not start the program. And I am determined not to reinstall it.

 



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